So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
