I hate your face
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
