This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
