Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im having a threesome with these popsicles
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.