JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
