you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?