I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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