you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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