i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
