ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
