Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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