I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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