I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and she was petting her beer can
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
