So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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