Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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