if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
