I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We left an ass print on the piano.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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