i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
