Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You are a genius and a whore.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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