I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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