I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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