good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
