if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
