Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
