can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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