Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
