Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Less talking, more tequila
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
