Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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