its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Come see our sink grown plant.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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