Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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