Sry I called you an 8
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
