Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
