Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
