i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
