Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
