He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
