She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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