So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
