I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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