What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude. I can hear the air.
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