So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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