Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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