phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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