Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
