yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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