After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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