I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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