The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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