Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
sex in a hospital.. check
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Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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