yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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