i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
