my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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