Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
