He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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