There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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