She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
