everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
