I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
