for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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