that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
