Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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