You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Still dying that you shit outside
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Randomize
