The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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